These people saved my life in high school! And the fact that my efforts in comedy have led me to the people whose art was my company when I was at my most alone … That’s about as cool as it gets. I remember waking up that Monday and thinking, This week when Brandi Carlile says she’s going to work, and when Steve Martin says he’s going to work, and when I say I’m going to work, we’re all going to the same place. Brandi Carlile’s music changed my life, and Steve Martin is a huge influence of mine. The achievement of my comedy career that I really treasure is probably writing for the episode of SNL with Steve Martin and Brandi Carlile. What’s your proudest achievement of your comedy career so far? Her budget is $80, and girl, I know just the thing!” In my talking-head bit, I’d be like, “So, Brianne is looking for a sequined vintage-inspired dress that shows her cleavage, but covers the billion wounds that time itself has left on her mind. I would love to be one of the sassy consultants wearing a million bangles and really intense makeup who helps girls find dresses, because I love that they are also basically acting as shamans and spiritual guides on the brides’ journey to self-actualization. I love wedding shows, and I especially love Say Yes to the Dress. What unscripted or reality series do you think you’d excel at? What archetype do you think you’d be? He was super-excited about the prank and had us rehearse the story a bunch of times, poking holes in it and giving us notes and everything because he insisted, “It’s not going to work if you don’t sell it.” He was cracking himself up so hard making a bunch of kids help him effectively fake his own death, and it was just a damn good time. Before we went back home, he revealed that he had an elaborate prank he wanted to pull on our parents, the basic premise of which was that we were to run back home without him as fast as we could and tell our parents that while we were playing by the river, George drowned. One day when I was 7 years old, he took me and my two sisters on a walk down to the waterfront so that our parents could spend the evening alone. He was, I want to say, about 60 billion years old, and he had an extraordinarily twisted and sick sense of humor. Growing up, we had a sweet, slightly insane neighbor named Mr. Tell us a story from your childhood you think explains why you ended up becoming a comedian.
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